Monday, May 24, 2010

Glo Paaaaa!!

To borrow atokd's words, "Glo paaa, they didnt even come now they're going." Seriously? these people must be joking. U cant come and daa da the whole nation like that. Are you mad? I read the article in the Graphic today and i really hope it was one of those threat pieces, designed purposely to make the NCA, the minister of communications and whoever else it may concern sit up. You know - a threat piece - like when your girlfriend threatens to kill you the next time she catches you staring at another girls' breasts. She doesnt mean it, but it still makes you sit up and concentrate on driving.

Did Glo honestly expect to just walk into GH unopposed? Telecoms is big business, second only to oil. Did you people honestly assume that coming here to take your competitors' markets would be a walk in the park? Here in Ghana? Where everywhere you go, it's a wonderful world and you can express yourself because it's your time? Kasapa sef vex! Let's not be naive.

You came and promised greener paychecks and because of you many people who should probably have known better, got the courage to give their bosses the middle finger and walk out slamming the door. They had new jobs with Glo! Glo? the company that was rumoured to be so rich, that because they didn't yet have an office in GH, they were flying people in from Nigeria every day at 8am in the morning and taking them back to Lagos at 5:30pm everyday? yes, Glo.

Isn't it the same Glo that came and took over everything? The supporters' club, the premiership league, the CAF awards? Glo that flew in the two lovely Ladies that JAK was concentrating on that memorable night during the CAF awards? Glo that came and took over the streets and sidewalks of Accra, with all sorts of signages and ambient advertising? Glo that brought the green Glo Globes? the same Glo that has gone and allegedly signed all the music artists and film stars we see on the 1001 billboards and banners around Accra? Glo? whose local reps are pulling the fresh green 2009 Toyota Camry's? The same Glo that had the invitation only banquet at the State House just a few weeks ago?

Did you guys honestly think that while you were displaying this pomp and pageantry, your competitors-especially the one with the lousiest network known to modern man- would be sitting down with folded arms? Like i said, Kasapa sef vex. Even with their small market, you guys had taken their primary colour and were threatening to make them even more significant. so how much more the bigger boys? Now after teasing us for nearly 2 years you want to back out? dont be silly. Stop acting like a baby who's being bullied. You guys are Nigerian, you know this game. So dry your tears and play it, dammit! We have waited too long for your bloody network to start operation.

Maybe i should break it down some more. You guys, Glo, are the rich 33 year old man from a small town, who has just come home from abroad after getting a scholarship, going to school there and working small.

Ghana, is the 19 year old teenage girl you impregnated and promised to marry before you went. In other words, "that day when you said we should buy biscuit and come to your room so you could show us something. And we did something and you said we shouldnt tell our parents that we're pregnant but when you come you will marry us, and now you have come you dont want to marry us. eeeiii!! ".

And i am the teenage girl's father saying "bloody fool! You will marry the girl!!"

If you people back out of GH, you would have committed a crime that many men have committed in the past and regretted. It is known as leading on. In most cases the woman who has been led on, finds new creative ways to keep making your life miserable until you start paying her some attention financially or she publicly ruins you. Ask Mr. Anane. Ahem. Dont mess with GH Glo! After years of lousy networks, we aint got nuffn to lose!!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

To Italy with love. Accra, Ghana.

2 nights ago, i was invited to dinner by one of my clients. She was leaving her company after 11 years and it was sort of her going away dinner. She wanted something quiet and exclusive. So we ended up at this interesting Italian place in Airport residential called Michaelangelo's.

Now first of all, you would never have known anything was happening there because the place was so quiet and inconspicuous. But sure enough when i walked into the stone and wood building, it was full. Everybody in there looked like they were either an Ex-pat or earned Ex-pat type cash. So i took my seat and proceeded to have the most amusing dinner of my life.

The guy who runs the place, Leo, is an elderly Italian man whose glasses hung from a string around his neck. We weren't given a menu. Instead he walked up to the table and asked... is there anyone here who does not eat ham? No? Ok... and then he walked off. Then a well spoken waiter showed up and asked "still water or sparkling?" i was like, cant i get anything else? to which he replied, you must have water first, sir. Ok then. So he brought the water, one bottle still, the other sparkling. I noticed they were both Italian brands. Interesting, i thought.

Then he came to take the drink orders. Red Wine or Peroni, he asked. What's Peroni i asked. Peroni, Perronnni he said to me smugly, Italian beer. I'm sure in his head he must've been thinking... how can this dude not know Peroni Italian beer? It's Italian! Funny, cuz in my head i was wondering how much this Ghanaian waiter was paid to be so enthusiastic about Italian beer.
Anyways i got the beer so i wouldn't seem like a pain in the u-know-what... and also because it didnt look like i could just order a coke in this place. It tasted horrible, but i faced it like a man.

Then the food began to arrive. Lemme just say that was the most pasta i've had in one single night! No wonder they didn't see the need for a menu... they knew what they had planned for us! Starter: pasta. Main dish: Square pasta. Dessert, A seafood platter of, you guessed it, pasta.

Anyways, my point is, it was an intrinsically exclusive experience [at an exclusive price]. And Leo's restaurant thrives, hidden inconspicuously somewhere in the heart of the Airport residential area. I would never have thought that a place which is so devotedly Italian, down to the paintings on the wall, could thrive without making any sacrifices to satisfy a larger audience. But it does... and judging from it's clientel, it will for a long time. It seems then, that it is still possible to carve out niches here, if you know how to fnd and keep your target audience.