Thursday, October 18, 2012
So, quick thing. The average boob weighs about 1.1lbs and should contain about 4-5 percent of body fat. Ladies, it's a blessing to weigh more. This is not college. D's are good things now. Get weighed by a helping hand. Or hands. Your choice. Male hands if you can find such a thing. Effective scales, those.
Good talk. #tuningtotokyo
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
How would that have played out? Well just randomly, off the top of my head...
T-1 hour: Meteorological service confirms that we have excellent weather ahead.
T-43 minutes: It begins to rain. Obscenely. Meteorological service is stunned. This wouldn't be the first time.
T-41 minutes: Countdown suspended because ECG has intervened.
T- 34 minutes: Countdown restored by back up generator
T- 32 minutes: Countdown suspended as we switch back to main power. ECG restored.
T-30 minutes: Countdown interrupted as ECG fails. Again.
T-29 minutes: Committee formed to determine whether to wait for ECG to restore power or fuel generator and proceed.
T-26 minutes: Countdown resumes as mission control committee decides we carry on with generator power.
T-15 minutes: Vice President's motorcade arrives
T-13 minutes: Cultural display begins
T-10 minutes: Minister of space jumps takes podium to deliver speech on how current government is dedicated to boosting the economy with more space jump initiatives backed by funding from UNESCO, WHO, and China. Also there will be free SHS.
T-2 minutes: He's still going.
T-1 minute: Bola Ray takes over countdown... "alraaa, are you readey?" "i said are you readey!?!"
T- 30 seconds: Feedback from the mic over the PA system
T- 9 seconds: Bola reminds us that this jump is brought to us by MTN. Everywhere you go.
T-3 seconds: Lift off. Someone hadn't synchronized their watch properly.
Felix's Felix's balloon rises slowly and elegantly for a while. Then suddenly begins to drift towards Labadi Beach.
Mission control assures him that all is well, It's just the north-east trade winds.
Sure enough, the balloon rights its course and soars into the atmosphere. We can still hear Felix loud and clear. Bola interjects that communication is sponsored by MTN.
10,00 ft... 20,000.... 50,000...
"Mission control: Hello Felix... can you hear us" No response.
Mission control redials. Over the PA system we hear "Everywhere you go, there's always sky big beautiul... " Felix picks up "hello, hi Ghana, i'm still here... still rising... such a wonderful view... i can see... " Call cuts.
Mission control redials: " We hear Jessica instead. The MTN number you have dialled canot be reached at the moment..."
At 100,000 feet, Felix is floating high over accra. Unable to reach mission control for some reason he sits tight hoping that once Mission control realizes, they will abort the mission and you know, send the Airforce in or something. Oh sweet, sweet Felix.
So he continues to soar in faith. Unaware that he's about to be introduced to another particularly African concept. The concept of "efie fuo... house people." As it turns out, his "House people" have been looking for him... ahem.
Nah. You know I'm just playing. Of course it'd have gone perfectly.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Tastes are changing, flavourless broth.
Used to be effort came forth to create content,
But now it comes fourth,
Effortless mediocrity over a beat keeps us content.
Production standards drop a jaw
Fruit drags us to the dance floor.
But what are standards for
When one about a presidential banana
just came thru the door?
Nothing. I guess we'll swallow raw.
Music and media used to reek of creativity
But now there's no accountability,
no old-fashioned responsibility
Spit it, ship it; that's productivity.
Audiences ingest mediocrity,
Screw craft and consistency,
Ignore anything near memorability,
...or maybe this is just me, wallowing in subjectivity.