My second one. Am i officially an addict? So ashamed.

Melanin in your skin

Do Black Africans have innate low self-esteem? No? Yes? Is it caused by Melanin?

Why is Africa still where it is? Why are we still so sheepishly reverent of the White man? Yes, they built the Ships and came here. But when they came why were we so overwhelmed? why didnt we say "ooooh... cool boat, but come this way and check out how we made this tree grow from bird crap... Organic baby!" or something.

It's not all of Africa, just the black bit. Because Egyptians were way ahead. Until recently. But i digress. Why is Sundiata the only guy from Black Africa to have made some sort of early world impact. Why didn't God pick Noah from Black Africa (Theology students, relax... i'm just making a point). 

Why does Christo Asafo whatever his name is, think that by {re}inventing a car, he's achieved something worthy of attention? Why are we intrigued with something that Ford showed us in 1903 and Egyptians showed us even earlier? Wouldnt his time be better spent i dunno... making a fuel that can run my car on cocoa, shea butter and sand? Relevant? I'd say. Especially because he'd have done something that can make the white man wide-eyed. Instead of making TVs that turn on when you clap. How do you watch soccer or an action movie with that?

Why are we so eager to welcome and instantly believe that the White man is more experienced, more knowledgeable, more this and more that? Even at the expense of our own flesh and blood?Ghanaians are hospitable? yeah, to the White man.

Oh wait. because Jesus was white. And we're made in His image. Well, they are. 

More on this later.

 

 

Happy Women's Day,

From the freaks, the ladies, the quiets, the crazies,

the ones we once loved who now have babies...

To the naggers, the playettes, the feminists, the divas,

 the afrocentric fashionistas rocking Davivas...

From the old, to the young, the fair, the dark,

To the tall, the short,

even the ones who play sport...

 

From the smart, the awesome, the downright cumbersome, 

To the A cups, and the D’s, even those who're troublesome 

From the ones who flaunt it and make us quake in the knees,

To those who stare and just say ugh, please...

From the made up, the natural, the woven on, the bald…

To the manicured, the pedicured,

the wont be bothered, cant be cured...

 

From the hard to get, the difficult to maintain,

the long life partners, the hard to explain...

To the bold, the strong,

the ones who keep this world moving along...

 

From all the women who inspire us

even to those who must always get their own way...

here's a note just to say, 

Happy Women's day.

 

Analogy.

55 years ago, Ghana was a start-up and Nkrumah was the entrepreneur behind it. The Patrick Awuah of his day, if you will. He put toil and blood into it and made it flourish as much as possible. He was passionate about his business and he invested in it.

But now the founder has gone away and the business has lost it's soul, inspiration and drive. Now it's being managed by people who dont see it as theis and just want to milk it dry. The've formed unnecessary alliances, there's so much office politics - pun intended - internal power struggles, ass-kissing and unecessary pettiness. Innovation is stifled. Stagnant mediocre groupthink sets in.

New management has no empathy for the employees. Once in a while, the management does something that seems nice, and because the employees are so used to such crappy standards, even the littlest things seem... ahem... gargantuan.. But the saddest part is that these little things aren't perks, they're things that management is supposed to do! But, HR is not too effective, so there.

Management grows detached from the employees. The leaders eventually stop leading and focus on enriching themselves. The employees lose interest, arent as dedicated, and just coast and stop demanding. At least the paycheck is constant. And so it continues. Everybody just dey.

Nkrumah's generation was a much prouder generation of Africans. They believed in themselves. Even the way they spoke was different. Had a tinge of learnedness. They made things happen and became an active force to reckon with internationally. But now this entire generation seems to have low self-esteem. We've dropped the ball. Woefully. But all isn't completely lost. We're 55. There's still time to grow up.

Valentine Survival guide.

Those of you of a more mushy disposition are probably already aware of tomorrow's significance. Fine. Whatever. Some of us only just discovered today's date and it's implications an hour ago. So what to do? You could go out and try to find an open shop and buy something, but then the question is, what do you get? Roses? I've never understood the logc behind giving someone fresh flowers that will fade away, die and proceed to rot in a few hours, as a significance of your affection.

Chocolate is an option... but then you have to get one of those expensive ones. You cant buy Kingsbite, unless your intention is to generate shock and annoyance. So... it has to be one of those foreign sounding ones from Geneva. But then, she'll gobble it all up, and then what? You'll have no evidence of your affection. And thus another dead end.

So now, your mind may drift to Brazilian hair - the gift that keeps on giving - however, unless you know any actual brazilians willing to shave on your account Why would anyone spend the equivalent of 48 bags of cement to prove a point? And all that effort will evvaporate by the 15th anyways.

So, solution? Feign ignorance. If she brings it up go "nooo... that was today?!"

or take the high road. Say to her "baby, i love how our releationship is so trancedental that we dont need fleeting materialistic elements to prove our afection for each other." At this point, she cant sulk, cuz on one hand it's a compliment - albeit a complement that gets you off the hook - but one none the less. Bliss.

If all else fails, pick a good fight. Make it something that deserves at least a day's worth of sulking. Be careful though. They see these things coming especially during this dangerous period. So you'll have to find something natural, something she wont see coming, like walk in when she's watching TV and go  "Baby, i thought we agreed you wouldnt watch TV3 news? Why do we keep having these issues! Why do you make this so difficult!" Then quickly walk out! Hopefully she wont recover till Friday. Be warned you have to do this before midnight tonight, otherwise she will catch on!

Goodluck!

Clean Bathrooms 2.

Ok, forget public bathrooms. I have an even more fundamental problem wtih people who don't keep their personal bathrooms clean. Yes i'm back to this because it's the kind of thing that causes divorces. All that alleged love WILL die when you discover their horrendous bathroom manners. Why do you think there are couples walking around angry with each other for no reason?

Have you ever walked into a bathroom in a respectble place - office, household, establishment, whatever - where seemingly respectable people are supposed to live and work... and then you walk into their disastrous bathroom and think, what the... wait a minute!! 

Then you look at the people and now in the back of your head you're like, so you, upon your tie and big english... still? Yes, obviously i take this bathroom thing very personally, but i think i'm finally done. It's not rocket science. It's just basic courtesy, right?

"Do unto the bathroom what you would have other people do unto it beforeyou get there". Or maybe it's not so simple.

Clean Bathrooms

I hate public bathrooms. And if you went to a local secondary school or you've seen some of the ones i have, you'd understand. Clean bathrooms should be part of the requirements for registering a business. They should be an aspect of customer service. But many places - even hotels seem unable to grasp this concept, hence shocking results.

And this extends to taps. Look, if you haven't switched to motion activated taps, we have a problem. Because unless they're disinfected every ten minutes, those taps are just bacterial infections waiting to kill you.

While we're on the subject, running water is always a necessity. A note on the mirror that says "please the pipe is not flowing" is a call to be publicly flogged. So what happens in an emergency? Most people try to get home. But history has shown life can be cruel to even the manliest of men. So here are some of the cleanest bathrooms people have suggested, just in case you ever have a code red.

The Alisa Hotels - North Ridge. Fiesta Royal - Achimota Highway
Holiday Inn - Airport
Marvels - Dzorwulu
Golden Tulip, Kumasi (the Accra one is meh) If you can make it to any of these, you should be fine. If not, may the force be with you.