Aunty Muni Celebrities

Today for the first time in ages, i went to auntie Muni's after church for a bit of Waakye with my boys. It's interesting to see how many people flock to the place each Sunday. There were so many people that the food ran out at a point, prompting one guy who was standing behind us in the line to start ranting about how she should "forecast" the Sunday crowd and make enough food. But i digress. After a few more minutes of waiting and my utter disbelief at the fact that Ato Kwamena Dadzie [who showed up there in a Nissan Xterra, ahem] is married to one hell of a sexy woman, we were soon chomping down on some really very good waakye.

I couldn't help wondering why there were so many human beings in this one place? i hear it's the place for local celebrities to hang out. So are people here because the food is good? or they want to feel like they are at the happening spot? or they want to be associated with the celebrity status of the place? makes me wonder.

This trend is so rampant in GH. All you have to do is find a good looking 20 something year old who likes to party and ask them where they party. You can always guarantee you'll hear the same places. Rhapsody's, Aphro, Rockstone's Office... blah blah blah! The result is that these places have no standing room on a good weekend night.

When Rhapsody's showed up, the entire GH party crowd decided they had to be there, so prices went up in a bid to make it exclusive, but still, you cant find standing space on a Friday night. Same thing is happening with Citizen Kofi, Club XL, and now much to my frickn' dismay Belaroma. The first time i went into Belaroma, i was wearing my jeans with signature slippers, and there wasn't a pipsqueak from the bouncers... there weren't even bouncers; just some dude sitting outside trying to look macho. I turned up there a few weeks ago and all of a sudden some huge dude informs me i cant come in with slippers. I was like huh? but considering his size, i decided it was best to comply and not argue. I walk in and you guessed it... there's only standing room! The annoying part is that it is the same bloody people!

All i want is a place i can go and have a good time and not be engulfed by familiar, celebrity wannabe, fashion disasters waiting to happen. I look around Aunty Muni's one last time as we decide to leave this crowd and eat our waakye in the peace and comfort of the Ashesi Campus. Good riddance to you all i murmur in my head. See you at Belaroma... or the mall... or Ridge Church.

Before i drive off, i take one final look at the woman who is supposed to be Ato Kwamena Dadzie's wife? How the hell did he land the woman with the voluptuous chest swaying her bountiful hips? How?

Democratic Lawlessness

Today, i heard a story of a young lady who was crossing a zebra marking too slowly for a trotro driver's liking. So he disembarked from his vehicle and attempted to beat her. Only in Ghana. Why is it that people can be so lawless in this country even when they are fully aware of the rules? Is it a failure on our parts or a failure of the system?

Why do people STILL toss out ice water sachets onto the road? Why do trotro drivers thrive on causing traffic violations? You'll notice they dont apologize for stopping suddenly in the middle of the road, blocking traffic to pick up passengers. Meanwhile the Bus stop is right there in front of them?! It's now common practice whenever there's a traffic jam for drivers who obviously have more important places to go than we do, to drive on the sides of the road, forming a third lane where there are supposed to be only 2 and eventually causing even more traffic; and nobody does anything about it. The police themselves whiz by with their hazard lights. I am personally tired of having to drive behind people who are not aware that in this country, the inner lane is the Speed lane!! But this stupidity transcends just our roads... it seems that the notion of democracy that we have translates into The freedom to do or say anything you like. Damn the consequences. And that is the problem.

Ministers and government officials recklessly abuse power forgetting the fact that being democratically elected means you are accountable to the people! Doctors go on fatal strikes because we are in a Democracy and it's their right. Lecturers put the future of this nation in peril each time they cease teaching and go on a Democratic strike. When the AMA proposed that cab drivers wear blue uniforms during CAN 2008 [a frankly unnecessary idea] one driver accosted him on TV talking about the fact that they would do no such thing because Ghana was a Democracy. The hawkers refused to get off the streets because we are a Democracy and they had rights. Every morning hundreds of callers call into radio talk shows and proceed to vent their strong, mostly unsubstantiated, groupthink based, sometimes libelous "views" all in the name of freedom of speech and Democracy. Only the Lord knows what will happen next in the name of Democracy. Freedom has been replaced by lawlessness. It makes me wonder whether this Democracy thing is the best way for us to be going; especially considering the state America is in now, where every little and seemingly simple decision making process is stalled by the fact that all groups want their rights taken into consideration. Gay rights, Animal rights, minority rights, majority rights, vegetable rights, this and that and the other! C'mon man. These guys have been at it for 200 years and even with a largely literate society they still dont seem to have gotten it right. When will we?

I think we need our own thing. Some have called it a Benevolent Dictatorship... whatever. But we need a system of rule where we follow a set of rigorously enforced rules regardless of our personal opinions or preferences. It's hard to say this but until we grow as a nation in terms of our sensibilities, a lot of us will need to be coerced into action or penalized for inaction. Whichever comes first. The challenge will be defining the "greater good" [for me it would be a nation where people wont hoard tickets for the Ghana Music Awards and sell them for triple the price at the gates] and finding a leader who can be powerful enough to be both feared and respected by his people, [Should he be in military attire? i dont know] and selfless enough to allow the next leader to take power when his time is up. Once we can cross this hurdle, we will be well on our way to transforming this country.

Do you think if a few traffic violating trotro drivers were slapped around in public by military personnel they would continue to be such idiots on the road? Remember the incident at 37 where a few of them were infact slapped around much to public horror and outcry? well guess what, there's no more traffic at that particular spot. Hmm...

It's not about us, it's about the greater good.

here we go again

For the first time this year, i will attempt to go back to blogging. Inspired by the Ad Contrarian and other less sensible ones that i really enjoy, i dont see why i shouldnt give the world my gift of the gab. it's not all about me, it's about you guys. i'm doing it for the greater good. yeah, right.

that's exactly what i was thinking when i stumbled upon this story here. I dont think i have heard any BS quite like this in a long time, apart from when my mechanic gives me reasons about why he hasnt finished with my car... or why he hasnt even showed up to pick it up..

But who am i to judge? It is indeed possible that she did get the TATTOO - ie, unremovable permanent source of shame - on her wrist because she was so devoted to this company that the only thing she felt she could do to prove that dedication was to get a tattoo. On the way to that inspiring decision however, she bypassed umm, let me see... actually doing better work that would boost the company's performance, devoting all her time to the services of the company - you know, working longer days and weekends, without pay - umm, what else? Volunteer work for the company she all so adored?

Or maybe she just did it cuz she thought... it's a 1000 dollars dammit. what the hell? i've done worse things for NO money before!! Ahem. You decide.

How not to get caught...

i was going to blog about attitudes in the office and how to deal with the Co-worker who just has an attitude for no discernable reason. But, i'm more occupied with the fact that the petrol prices have been hiked. I dunno whether to be mad, i guess not. it's not really the government's fault. it would be nice to strangle someone for it though- i'm just kidding - of course.

No, no, actually what has my attention now is the certain minister who is alleged to have already been summoned and suspended for corruption. Already? I'll bet this dude just couldnt wait to fly his chic around with him aye? The sad thing is he's one of the younger ministers in the cabinet - u know - the kind that supposed to be an inspiration to other young people... Well that's gone right out of the window now, hasnt it? But that begs the question, did he get caught because he was young and inexperienced in "these things"? Because having a conversation with some other people i have come to find that the practice of flying around with an accompanying vegetable is in itself not a new practice. However, it takes tact and a certain skill to pull said feat off unnoticed especially if you are a public figure.

As part of my Corporate social responsibility, i will now outline How Not to get caught: when taking your partner at large/young vegetable/the woman who you know is not your wife along with you when going abroad on "assignment"

This will be done in a few easy to follow steps.

step 1. Pick destination: this is important to ensure that you and your "partner at large" do not get routes mixed up. It would be a shame to hear that she's hale and hearty in Dubai when you arrive in freezing Dublin and she's no where to be found. It also allows you to adequately prepare to not be seen together. If that last sentence was a tad twisted. read it again. Moving along...

Step 2. Send her ahead of you. Yes, we know you've been dying to spend some time with her alone, in a cozy environment. The airport is not that environment. Why? because you will be caught. The flight is not that place either. Air hostesses know who you are and they like your wife. if she is not your wife, you will be caught. When they offer you tea or coffee many more times than normal or necessary, they're just making sure youu're being naughty so they can report you via ground control. Maintain a cool head. You've waited this long you might as well wait the 14 hours it takes you to arrive at your destination. Watch the inflight movie, better yet get an iPod.

Step 3. Separate rooms. Yes, silly. You cant show the accountant your per diem slip if it says Mr. A on the ticket, but Mr. A and Guest on the hotel receipt. Who is Guest? and why was she in your room? Tsk Tsk... no. The right thing to do is to have her check in on her own and settle her bills on her own - with your money of course, but nonetheless on her own. My strong advice is to find a young vegetable who is mentally capable of doing these tasks by herself. A fine bossom alone is not sufficeient. Many a young minister has faltered at this stage, and for this the repercussions are many. It's trully sad i tell you.

Step 4. Enjoy yourselves, but make sure you actually do the assignment the government/your company has sent you to do. Pay attention at the conference/seminar/peace talks/land settlement negotiation... whatever. Take notes, raise your hand, participate in group discussions. Make sure you make the government proud for sending you. Who knows, they might be so impressed that they'll send you back for more. Ahem.

Step 5. Fly back home separately. I really shouldnt have to reiterate that; but unfortunately, this step is often overlooked as many a young minister will get caught up in the euphoria of having perfectly executed the preceeding steps that he will grab hold of said partner at large by her voluptuous waist as they confidently board the plane for the flight home. Fail. Always remember step 2 applies for both flights: in and out. The golden rule is never fly together, and please do not give her different passport identities dammit!

Step 6: Finally, buy your own baby diapers Perhaps this is a low blow and totally unrelated to our topic. However, i feel the need to reiterate that one should not bill a taxpayer for diapers. That's just wrong on so many levels.

Right, so i guess that about sums it up, yes? Indeed, there may be some steps that i may have skipped. I am afterall, not a public figure. Please bring them to my attention and that of the general public. We all need to learn as much as we can in these trying times. Be well. Live right.

Fix.

Big sexy eyes
Big blue eyes, 
i got 'em mixed up
Dont know how.
Mad, She asked, so who's Blue?
i'm like err... babe thats you?
Feeble.
now i'm in a fix
cuz i called Sexy Blue and couldnt explain it.

I've never been Blue!
Nuffn about me's Blue!
She's right, it's true
Blue's Blue cuz she wears contacts... they're blue,
Sexy doesnt even have contacts!
my conscience is throbbing, 
ironic, now i'm blue.
And still in a fix 
Cuz i called Sexy Blue and couldnt explain it.

Christian Bale? Who... Batman?

If you havent heard by now... and i find that quite hard to believe, Chhristian Bale, the actor who played Batman in the Dark Knight had a "little" temper imbalance on the set of Terminator - his upcoming movie.

He properly told off the DP (director of Photography) who apparently was walking thru a scene he was shooting. Never has one man managed to fit so many F words into 7 minutes. But that's not where this is going. Everyone throws major tantrums now and then right? but what strikes me is the fact that it made news on CNN. yeah, that's right CNN.

Why would CNN carry it as a news story? well probably because within minutes of the tantrum's audio clip going public on TMZ.com, it became a social phenomenon - And a very wide spread one indeed. The TMZ site was bombarded with visitors in a matter of minutes of their breaking the audio clip; and in a jolt there had been uploads to youtube. The one i saw on youtube had already had 141,385 views, in just 19hours!

There were tweets about it on twitter - which is how i found out about it in the first place, and tcritic already had tee shirts for sale! (http://tcritic.com/archives/christian-bale-and-i-are-done-professionally-t-shirt/) 

His fan pages on facebook had new members joining up in droves and discussion posts around the topic, mostly in his defence. 

All this in a matter of hours. The beauty of social media, from twitter to youtube and to facebook is that it has began to herald news. it's removing the traditional staleness and formality of news and reflecting what people really want to talk about - Serious or trivial. 

When the plane crash-landed in the Hudson a couple of weeks ago, within minutes the news had spread in a wildfire of twitter retweets. It ended in a culmination of a wide net of information from a broad base of eyewitnesses, rescuers, the rescued, and us onlookers. 

Generation Y has taken control of the medium and converted it not just into a form of self expression, but a funnel into which various attitudes, and perceptions, views and reactions can merge into a pool of community in diversity. And the beautiful thing about it is that this is only the beginning.  Imagine what the future holds... and it's just around the corner. 

I leave you with just one of the many marks of the beauty and ingenuity this new form of expression offers us: a dance remix to the infamous Bale tantrum. Enjoy!

you scare me

You scare me,

 You do.

I'm not supposed be this afraid

But you scare me at night

and even during day.

 

It's the desire in your eyes,

When you stare

and your lips...

But I wont go there

Whatever it is, I'm riddled with fear.

 

You scare me

 I've seen you kill

You've torn up hearts

...shredded 'em to bits

And you didn’t even know it

 

You scare me

Your actions send shudders down my spine,

You're like fresh dew, dripping down a vine,

You're sweet and deadly,

like poisonous wine.

 

You scare me,

With each gaze,

With each kiss

With every touch

You scare me.